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Even a bad run is better than no run at all. 

So my last blog post I was patting myself on the back. Today? Not so much. 

This is what happened:

  
Not so great, for sure. It’s been a rough few days. Have pain in my foot, which felt perfectly fine this morning. But worked double yesterday, and it was a late night. And we won’t talk about how I pulled my calf muscle yesterday. Let’s just say it happened and leave it at that. 😁

But you know what? I still got out there and did something that only 6 months ago I could only dream of. 

And this:

  
Makes it all worth it. To be able to run and soak this all in. Something that is so easy to take for granted. 

So yes, it wasn’t a great run. But it was my run. And it doesn’t make me any less of a runner. We all have bad days. And that’s ok. We should still be so proud of what we accomplish every day we step outside that door. I know I am!

Pushing boundaries

I’ve learned that fear limits you and your vision. It serves as blinders to what may be just a few steps down the road for you. The journey is valuable, but believing in your talents, your abilities, and your self-worth can empower you to walk down an even brighter path. Transforming fear into freedom – how great is that? ~Soledad O’Brien

I’m not one to step outside my comfort zone very much. I like my safe spaces… Places where I’m comfortable and feel like no one can hurt me, including myself. But I’m trying to step outside. To learn to push my own limits. To push those boundaries I set for myself. 

I know the best things in life happen outside your comfort zone. Or at least that’s what I’ve read. And I have to say that so far that’s exactly what I’m experiencing, on many levels. I still have a hard time, it still gives me anxiety at times, but I always am pleasantly surprised at the results. 

So yesterday, this happened.   

  

Now let’s take a moment to look at those splits.  

 
I gotta say, I’m pretty damn proud of myself! I may not be the fastest runner by far, but my goal with every run is to not kill myself on the beginning. To build with each mile. And a 10:12 on mile 8? I’ll take it! Have I mentioned I’ve never run 8 miles before? Yes. I pushed myself. It was time. I had built to 7 on my Saturday run, and I knew it was time to push that limit. Outside my comfort zone.  And it felt GREAT!

Me

The best gift I can give myself, is loving me for all that I am.

To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Happy Birthday to me! Yes, today is my birthday, and it’s a great day! But then every day is a great day, as long as we make it that way.

A little more than a week ago, a friend posted something on Facebook that really got me thinking. About me and where I am, where I’ve been, and how I feel about myself.

For years, I’ve always compared myself to everyone else. I’m not sure why. I never really thought of myself as someone with low self esteem, but looking back I sure was! I was never as pretty as the other girls. Never as athletic. Never the popular one. And the biggie, never as thin as they were. I always saw something in the mirror that, looking back, was completely false. I was never overweight in high school, although I thought I was.

So it’s been a lot of years of fighting with myself. Trying to be something better. Always feeling like I could never be good enough. That no matter how hard I tried, I always failed. And this goes back to my post from last week, I would just shut down and do nothing because I was so overwhelmed with trying to accomplish the impossible. And I hated myself.

Since my divorce, I’ve been trying to focus on finding myself. Figuring out exactly who it is I am, and who I want to be. And learning to be ok with whoever that person is. And doing it on my own and being ok with that too.

Which brings me to today. And the best gift I can give myself, is loving me for all that I am. I’m caring and compassionate. I’m friendly and loving. I’m intelligent, loyal, and honest. Strong and independent. I’m healthy. I’m happy. I’m flawed. I’m scarred. I make mistakes. I’m not perfect. But I’m me. And that’s ok. Raw and vulnerable. Perfectly imperfect. A constant work in progress.

I avoided the camera for so long. Always choosing to take the pictures rather than be in them. And looking back, I’m sorry I wasn’t there more. That there are so few pictures of me with my own children. I’ve only recently started getting in pictures, and taking pictures of myself. And I love what I see. So here I am. This is me. With makeup and without. Sweaty and not. But always beautiful, just the same.


And because it’s my birthday, I’m just throwing this out there again. Please check out my fundraising website, and help me make a difference for children, no matter how small. That is my only wish today.